When I was a teenager, my first real job was working at a documentary production company. I remember we had a meeting one day with clients that came into town from Richmond. They had just driven for three hours and when they arrived the company I worked for provided us with lunch. They were already seated at the table when I got my dish and headed into the conference room. When I entered the room they both stood up and stayed standing until I was seated in my chair. A few moments later I realized I had forgotten something and got up to get it and they stood up too. When I came back, again they stood when I entered the room.

I’m a huge fan of period dramas (basically any film based on a work of classic British literature will draw me in) so I’ve seen this happen a thousand times onscreen, but that was the only time in my life that ever happened to me and it has stuck with me all these years.

And when I look at my sons I think, I want to raise men like that. I want to raise men that respect women so much that opening doors, offering their arm, or standing when a woman enters the room is second nature for them. I want to raise men that have no desire to objectify women, but instead value them as precious and worthy of protection.

That is not to say that my boys won’t understand that women are equal to them, but rather women are different than men.

As for my girl, I hope to raise her to never find her value in the attention of men and that she should expect to be respected and to never settle for anything less.

Of course both of these tasks require my children to not seek their worth in themselves, their talents, or other people, but in the knowledge of how truly special and intrinsically valuable they are to the one who created them.

A moment with Big E.

Big E- Mommy, did the doctor take me out of your belly?

Me- Yes.

Big E- And did I cry because of all the lights.

Me- Yes.

Big E- And did I want to go back in your belly because it was so comfy in there?

Me- Yeah, I think so.

Big E- (Thinks for a moment) Is there a bed in your belly?

Me- No.

Big E- Then how is it comfy in there?? (Pause) When you have a baby in your belly and you eat food does it land on the baby’s head?!?