01-31-18 Ramblings of a Sleep Deprived Mama

High fives to all you single mamas out there… seriously. I’m pretty much single-momming it 4-5 days a week at the moment, and if you ask me how I’m doing, I’ll answer honestly.

Go on…

Ok, since you asked… I’m at the “I just gave all three of my kids melatonin and now I’m sipping on year-expired Theraflu because mama’s got a cold, and by goodness you children just need to sleep through the night because I’m the walking dead!!” Yup, that’s where I am.

Big E still has a fever this evening, which means he can’t go to school tomorrow…. sooooooo… there’s that. I think I finally convinced Baby E he can’t crawl into bed with me tonight because he might catch all the bad mommy germs, and Big E is sleeping on a recliner in the living room, so we’ll see how we fare tonight. 🙂

Now, it’s not all bad. We read lots of books in the evenings. We play some games. We eat dinner together. They get baths (ahem) as often as I can give them to them. And we still manage to hit our 7:30 bedtime most evenings. I’d say we aren’t doing too shabby.

We knew going into these next few months that things would be rough, with Tim spending more time away from home, and it is. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and we are holding the course. 🙂

I’m really not complaining about my situation (I know, that’s a weak argument) but I really am blessed by where we are. I’m thankful for my incredible hubby for going the extra mile to help secure our future plans- he’s a good man, one of the best I have ever met, and each day is made better by his being in it. So tonight I will drift off to my Theraflu dreams, confident that I love that man more each day. 🙂

01-30-18 The Chronicles of My Colorblind Son…

Big E woke up with a fever this morning. I took the day off so I could get him into the pediatrician’s office. The flu has been going around, as well as a few other nasty bugs, and I wanted to be on top of whatever he had come down with. His symptoms were all pretty mild- a low grade fever, a slight headache, a slight tummy ache, and a little bit of coughing. I got him an appointment for 1:30 and we lazed around the house until it was time to leave.

When we got there, we were left waiting in the exam room for awhile. We had been placed in a “Disney Princess” themed room, and the walls were covered with the various princesses. We got bored quickly, so I came up with a game to test Big E’s colorblindness. These are the results…

  1. I asked him what color dresses these girls were wearing. Without a hesitation, he said they were pink. Both of them. Identical colors. (Interestingly enough, there was another picture of Cinderella in a slightly darker blue dress, and he nailed the color on that one.)IMG_20180130_180430_028.jpg
  2. With Tiana he informed me that her dress was tan. IMG_20180130_180453_468
  3. This apple- Green and YellowIMG_20180130_180511_659
  4. And as for this picture, he told me that Ariel’s hair and the fish next to her were the exact same color- Red. IMG_20180130_180254_186

Guys, his colorblindness is for real! We’ve known about his situation since last spring, but this was the best test I have been able to do with him so far. At the beginning of the school year I informed his teacher about the colorblindness, and she has been wonderful. She always pairs him with another student if they are doing an activity that requires colors, so I feel like they are taking my concerns seriously. I’m definitely happy with how they have been handling it in the classroom.

As for our sick visit, that was good news. No flu- just a virus that has to run its course, and so it will. When he has tylenol or ibuprofen, you would never know he was sick, so that is wonderful. I’m hoping that he will get a full night’s rest tonight and feel better in the morning, even if he will be staying home.

Oh, and today he informed me that he really likes sick days because I let him watch TV all day. Hey, if it keeps him resting, that’s fine by me. 🙂

01-29-18 The Nightmare

I woke up with a start last night. The room was dark, save for the flicker of light from the fireplace in the next room. I was shivering, but not from the cold. It took me a moment to realize where I was, but as the shadows of the room began to reveal the familiar edges of furniture and windows, I began to breathe easier. The nightmare was over.

When I was a child, I used to dream quite often and many of my dreams were dramatic, to say the least. With an overactive imagination, my subconscious had plenty of fodder with which to amuse itself. Once I was chased by a large drum turned murderous potato. I also explored ancient ruins. And for the months following September 11th, I had dreams of planes slamming into shopping malls and grocery stores, scores of people dying.

But nothing compared to last night’s nightmare. No, last night’s was alarmingly realistic and tragically painful and in the moments after my eyes opened, while my mind was still foggy, grief and fear flooded me. The relief that washed over me as my surroundings came into focus, dampened those emotions and I laid in bed, listening to my rapid breathing, waiting for my heart to calm. After several long minutes it finally did. I vowed in that moment to never speak that dream, and so I never will.

This morning when I woke, the world looked a little different.

My children were more precious. My husband, more cherished. And as for me, I was thankful for a new day- especially one that bore no resemblance to that nightmare.


01-28-18 Jurassic Park

Baby E has been excessively sleepy this weekend. I’m not sure if it is a growth spurt or if his little body is fighting something, but this morning he just wasn’t interested in doing anything but crawling back into bed. Since we were at the new house, we were going to take the kids to the church we had tried out to see how they liked it, but we decided against taking Baby E. Our brother-in-law was going to meet us at the church, but in the end only Tim and he went. I stayed back with the kids to let Baby E sleep, and sleep he did.

While he was down, the kids asked to play “Jurassic Park.” No, my children have never seen that movie. Nor will they see it for a long, long time. However, they had been playing the Lego Jurassic Park video game, so they decided to re-enact it with legos and play dinosaurs. It was great!

By the time Baby E woke up, he had much more energy and bounded around the rest of the day. On the drive home this evening he got pretty sleepy again. We will see how he is doing in the morning.

01-27-18 The Bathtub

More important to me than having a nice kitchen or a nice living room, is definitely having a nice bathroom. One of my favorite things in the world is to grab a book, draw a nice hot bath, and relax in the water at the end of a long day. I’ve dreamt of a nice, large bathtub for years and while I loved our townhouse, there was nothing special about the bathrooms.

The bathtub in our new house is big. It’s huge really. It’s the kind of bathtub I have always dreamed of having- the kind you can fill deep, lean back in, and read a book. On my drive out last night I got excited at the thought of giving it a try. Even though we’ve made several visits, I’ve never gotten the chance to.

I waited until the kids were in bed so that I wouldn’t be disturbed. I got my book ready. I filled the tub extra deep with lots of bubbles. When I finally sank down into the water, it was everything I imagined it would be. It was perfect.

I leaned back to let my shoulders get under the water, to wash away the tension of the day and close my eyes. But that’s when I discovered the problem with my bathtub.

I am a short woman. And my bathtub is large. So, as I leaned back to rest my head and back against the slant of the tub, my feet had no place to prop against and I slid right down into the water. It was a dramatic slide, accompanied by a shout of exclamation that brought Tim running to make sure I hadn’t drowned myself. Thankfully I caught myself before going all the way under, but the effect on my peaceful, relaxing soak was the opposite I had been going for. I tried again and again and kept slipping down.

I didn’t get much of my book read, nor did I do much relaxing, but I’ll figure out a solution soon and the world will be right once again. 🙂


01-26-18 It Wouldn’t Do…

Friends, it wouldn’t do. Tim and the kids weren’t ten minutes from home this evening when I felt a sinking feeling. I was sitting on the end of my bed, setting up my new phone (yay!) when I got an overwhelming sadness that I wasn’t with them. I have been longing for an evening alone for weeks and weeks, and here was my opportunity and in that moment I realized that I didn’t want it. I wanted to be with my husband and babies.

So I called Tim, hastily packed a duffel bag (I have no idea what’s in there), and hopped in the car to meet up with him and the kids. I followed behind them, soaking in the hour and a half of quiet that I could get before our destination, and marveled at how happy I was to be near them.

So we are at the new house for the weekend- all five of us. And they have promised to let me sleep in, so we’ll see if that happens. 😉



01-25-18 The Not-So-Middle of the Night

I didn’t look at the clock when I heard him come into my room last night. I knew it was late when I felt something hit the bed. A pillow had landed squarely on my foot. I heard some scampering away from my room and then back again, Creepy being deposited there as well. A third trip brought a blanket and his Grouchy Ladybug stuffed animal.

I lifted Baby E into bed, told him I loved him, and gave him strict instructions to let me sleep. Perhaps when I said “Let Mommy sleep,” he thought I said, “Hum a tune just as Mommy is drifting off,” for that is exactly what he did. Groggily, I rolled over and asked him to stop, at which he obliged, but the next twenty minutes were filled with fitful tossing, turning, and the occasional foot in my back. As he finally settled down, my alarm went off.

Of course.

“What’s that?” he exclaimed. I told him what it was and he should go back to sleep, and by the time it snoozed the third time, he was quite asleep, enjoying the rest I so desperately wanted. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months, so Tim has agreed to take the the kids out to the new house tomorrow after school, while I join them on Saturday morning. That will give me one full evening that will be all mine. The kids will get much needed Daddy time, and I will get much needed quiet time (and the possible chance of sleeping past 4:45 am!!) Then I will be refreshed to join them on Saturday!! 🙂



01-24-18 An Unpleasant Surprise

I was about five minutes away from picking up the kids this evening when all of a sudden my phone went dead. One moment it was playing the audio book of Anne of Green Gables, and the next moment, nothing- nada- zilch. Completely and inexplicable dead.

I spent a while on tech support this evening, and honestly I am quite frustrated. This is the second phone that this has happened to in the last 24 months. I do the recommended OS update, and a couple of weeks later the phone dies. I googled it, and found out that I was not alone in my plight, but unfortunately (and of course) my phone was no longer covered by the warranty.

Here’s the dilemma- With Tim working crazy hours, and spending a lot of time out at the new house to be closer to work, it means that I am pretty much the sole caretaker of the children at the moment. So, I HAVE TO HAVE A PHONE! I need to be able to contact the school, the daycare, my mother-in-law, Tim, (and the list goes on.) Not to mention that I absolutely hate commuting without a phone, so this evening I ordered a new phone- a different make than the last two that gave me issues. Lord willing, this one will arrive soon and will be a sturdy machine!


01-23-18 The Dangers of Reading

I’ve been reading a lot of books lately, mostly mysteries or thrillers, and I have once again landed on a conclusion I have held for a long time- at least for me, reading can be dangerous. I love reading. I love getting lost in a book, my eyes devouring the words almost faster than my mind can process them. I flip through the pages as I get emotionally invested in the characters, rooting for them in due course. But when I make the mistake of choosing fast-paced, edge of your seat books, I run the risk of their adrenaline seeping into my real world, and so it has. I tried to temper it by reading an easier book at the same time, so I could alternate between them, but to be honest all the reading has put me a little on edge, so for the next little while I will stick to calmer waters. I’m excited to finish my ‘easier’ book, Anne of Green Gables, surprised that I had not read it in my youth. I think I started it once or twice, but never actually got through it. So for awhile, it will be just me and Anne (with an ‘E’ of course.)

As for my children, Big E is up to 96 books, C is at 89, and Baby E is at 45 since January 1. We read at least 4-5 books each night, and this evening was no exception. The one that made me laugh the most tonight was called “Everyone Loves Bacon.” In it, everyone does love Bacon, and Bacon knows it. He becomes arrogant and self indulgent, prideful about how much he is adored and how great he smells. He becomes a celebrity, forgets his old friends back in the fridge, drives fancy cars, and wears a fancy mustache. That is until…

He gets eaten. The End.

What I love the most about reading with my kids is watching their faces as the stories unfold. Sometimes they smile, sometimes they get worried, but nearly every time they get involved. I ask them questions as we read, they offer information, they try to guess what will happen next. Some of the books we read are pointless, but most of them seem to come with a moral, and I have found that the sillier the story, the more likely my kids will remember the lesson.

My favorite book that we have read so far was called “How I learned geography.” It was told from he point of view of a boy during WW2. His family had fled their homeland and ended up living in a refugee camp with no money and very little food. One day the dad goes out to buy food, but instead returns with a large map. The mom asks what happened and he said that he knew he didn’t have enough money to buy enough food to do them any good, but instead he got the map and put it up on the wall. The little boy was furious with his father for doing it, but over the next several days, the boy would stare at the map and imagine himself in different places around the world. His imagination was able to tear him away from the absolute misery that his family was enduring, and it helped him to survive the lonely existence he was experiencing. My kids sat in awe as I read the story. They don’t have much concept of war, or hunger, or extreme poverty, so the story was a great lesson in those things.


01-22-18 Pedicure

I got a pedicure this evening. It only cost me $1, the price of two bottle of nail polish I bought on clearance at the grocery store the other day. There were a multitude of color options to choose from, but in the end I decided on a bottle of pink and a bottle of purple. This evening, with my feet propped on a step stool, and a pile of children’s books beside me, I got my toes painted.

This weekend was a difficult one with the kids, with them and me being so overtired. But this evening, well, it was delightful. I read story after story as I felt the nail polish brush rub across my toe nails, and quite often, onto my foot. With marked determination, C created her designs, cleaned off where the polish strayed, and patiently painted each toe. She would glance up and look at the pages of the book I was reading, and then she would turn her attention back to her task. When she was done, she sat by my side with the boys and listened to the remaining stories.

At bedtime they crawled into bed, we said our prayers, and they settled in- almost completely peacefully. 🙂