We have had a rough couple of weeks, so the kids were extra excited to go to the park this afternoon to take a walk on the trail. We desperately needed the fresh air and exercise. The weekend was basically a bust because I was under the weather and slept most of yesterday away. Tim did great wrangling the kids and the house while I was out of commission. Tomorrow we hit the ground running again!
I want to start off by saying thank you for all the sweet and kind birthday wishes I received today. It was a wonderful day and I truly feel loved and blessed.
This past year has been a little challenging, to say the least, but it has also been incredibly full and beautiful. I’ve developed closer relationships, and learned so much about myself and the importance of community. I’ve been reminded over and over again of the goodness of God and seen his provision first hand in my life. And I continually feel Him pushing me past my comfort zone to do things that both challenge and scare me. For all this I am extremely grateful!
I got home to some very happy children. We had dinner, ate cake, and opened presents. Tim got me a Young Living starter kit, which I have had my eye on for like a year, so I’m very excited about that.
I’m sure I’ll be asking for lots of advice about this kit over the next few months! 🙂
C got off the bus in tears this afternoon. I was asleep when the incident happened, but Tim met her as she got off. Apparently one of the neighborhood children told her she wasn’t her friend anymore and only likes Big E and Baby E. My poor girl was heartbroken. It was unprovoked and hurtful.
It did not surprise me when I learned which child it was, but it did make me sad because we have gone out of our way to befriend her. I’m disappointed that C is dealing with this kind of nonsense at her age, but she is, and now we have to work through it. Tim explained that C didn’t do anything wrong and sometimes people make bad choices or say hurtful things.
Not everyone comes from a loving home and not everyone grows up knowing how to treat others. Tomorrow will come and the girl will no doubt want to play with her again.
And while I don’t want my daughter to be a scapegoat, I do want her to be able to forgive and love others as Christ loves us. I want her to learn healthy boundaries, but also be willing to go out on a limb and love the marginalized or overlooked. So tonight, instead of being frustrated or angry I’m going to pray for the little girl that lashed out today. I’m going to pray God brings more people into her life that show her that love can be unconditional and friendships are valuable. If she sees it modeled in her own life, maybe she can put it into practice herself.
Big E is on the mend. Tim seems to be getting better as well. I’m still on the fence. We’ll see what tomorrow brings!
Four out of five of us have succumbed to this wretched bug in the last week. Somehow C still stands strong, but I imagine not for long. It’s a strange bug that lulls you into a false sense of security by making you feel only mildly ill for the first day or so and then unleashes it’s havoc just when you think you are getting better. At least that’s what I have observed. I’m still in the mild-ish stage though I’ve been going downhill all day. Tomorrow should be fun… Unless I’m miraculously cured! (Note false sense of security)
To be honest I’m feeling pretty blessed. I made it through three stomach bugs, two bouts of the flu, multiple colds, and strep unscathed this year. If you ignore the ectopic and the broken finger, this is actually my first day off from work for my own sickness since sometime in early fall. It was nice while it lasted. 😃
Here’s the deal… My family has had four stomach bugs since just before Christmas. FOUR!!! That doesn’t even count the times my children have thrown up from sicknesses that weren’t the stomach bug. I’d say that’s overkill. We’ve paid our dues. We’ve sequestered ourselves as much as possible. Our children have missed out on so much because of all the various illnesses we’ve had these past few months. So without further adieu I officially beg that sick season be over! Immediately! Now! Please!!!
“I wish we were a family of four kids,” Big E said ruefully as he was getting dressed this morning. “I wish there was another kid.”
“I do too, buddy,” I responded.
“Can we have another kid?” He asked me.
“I’m not sure. Mommy’s not the one that decides these things. God makes that decision.”
“Oh,” he said. I turned and walked out of the room as I felt the lump in my throat. “I just know we are never going to have another baby,” he called after me. I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes.
After the ectopic, Tim and I discussed about what we would say to the kids. We decided to tell C, but we chose not to tell Big E until he is older. Our conversation with C went very well, but she has never really brought it up since then. I’m wondering now if we should have told Big E, but he is such a sensitive kid I didn’t want him so upset over something he couldn’t fix and couldn’t really grasp.
Every once in awhile I go online and check a pregnancy calculator to see how far along I would have been if I hadn’t miscarried. That probably isn’t the smartest decision, but when I’m sad I catch myself doing it. Today I would have been 31 weeks and 3 days along.
Tim took the crib down the other day and put it in the attic for storage. He had warned me he was going to do it, but I wasn’t prepared for how sad it would make me to walk into Baby E’s room and see the empty space it once occupied.
I wish I had a better answer for Big E this morning. I wish I could have held him and told him it would happen. But I don’t know. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But whatever God’s will is for our family, I know His plan and His timing are perfect, and in Him we can find the peace that passes understanding.