I find myself in the same philosophical debate every single night. I’ve been up since 5:30, got the kids to their destinations, commuted, worked, commuted, and survived the evening. The kids are in bed. Tim is in bed. The house is quiet. So very quiet. I now have three options…

1- Clean my house. Granted this is my least favorite of my three options, and therefore often gets pushed to the back burner. I’ll wash the dishes, clean up the counters, start a load of laundry, but anything beyond that is a bridge too far.

2- Go to sleep. This is by far the most rational, logical, and responsible thing to do, after all you never know when someone is going to unceremoniously wake you up in the middle of the night, so getting a jumpstart on the sleeping is always a good idea.

3- Sit in a chair and listen to the quiet. The evenings, after everyone else is in bed, are the only quiet times I get in this house. Blessed quiet!

So each night I shuffle each of these options in my mind and the winner, most often, is #3. I’m not a night person. I don’t like staying up late. I don’t like missing out on sleep (remember my love of naps, right?!?) But seriously, I thrive in this silence. Being an introvert, I spend the majority of my day making myself not be introverted and it is exhausting! So if staying up a little later means I get a few minutes of quiet before I fall asleep and start it all again in the morning, then I’ll take it.

Tonight was the awards ceremony for our church’s Awanas program. This is the program I have been sending C to for the past few months. She didn’t finish her book like we had hoped, but considering she started way into the year AND we kept misplacing her book, I’d say she did pretty good. When they called her name for her Participation Certificate (aka- the ‘everyone walks away with a certificate’ certificate) she skipped up as happy as could be. Hopefully next year will be easier since she will be able to read a little better!

Good job to all the kids tonight that really worked very hard all year long to learn all those verses and (hopefully) put them into practice!

I am happy to report that after nearly a year, Baby E’s head is back on the charts in the 97th percentile! Granted he is in the 7th percentile for height, but hey, at least he’s growing into his head, right?!?

My kids made me these for Mothers Day…

According to C, I am beautiful and really good at dancing. We especially enjoy dancing together and baking brownies. I like how it even looks like I am dancing in the picture. This is awesome!

Big E is beginning to refine his people drawing skills. That’s me… with a sheep on my head. Because, why not. Also, I am terrific and really good at cleaning up toys. I was a little concerned that I might not be entirely trustworthy, but don’t worry that one is marked off too!

Tonight was our last MOPS event for the year, our year end banquet. I had a such a wonderful time this year getting to know the women at my table, listening to some amazing speakers, working on some adorable crafts, and eating lots of tasty food. My time at MOPS is so much more than any one of those things. It is a community of women that come together to support each other in this messy, hectic, chaotic, amazing chapter in our lives. It’s the idea that we don’t need to compare ourselves to other moms, but rather cheerlead every mom because we all know it is hard, we know we mess up, and luckily we get it right sometimes, too! So thank you too the moms that participated this year. You were an encouragement to me and I am already looking forward to next year!

This is the first picture I have with my daughter, mere moments after she was born. I had been a mother for 9 months, but finally we got to meet face to face. It wasn’t the birth I had planned, nothing went like I had wanted… but when I finally saw her, none of that mattered because I was looking at the most perfect child I had ever seen. This is the moment motherhood kicked into gear… The stakes got higher. Nothing would ever be the same.

I’ve never liked this picture of me, 13 hours of labor and an emergency C-Section later, but it’s our first family picture- when two became three that eventually became five. And if you can see past the groggy- medicine induced stupor, you will see a very proud, very terrified, very excited, very happy new mommy!

So Happy Mothers Day to all you mamas out there. Motherhood is one pretty tough, amazing, and rewarding job- and one I wouldn’t trade for anything!

Nearly everything I know about being a mom, I learned from my mother.

Before she was married, my mother was a nurse. She was working in Butler, PA when she was introduced to my father by his sister. I don’t know much about their courtship, but they were engaged within a few months and married shortly after. I know that she made her own wedding dress, and that photos from her wedding are a scarce few because they married in late November during a huge snowstorm and their photographer didn’t show up.

They lived in Butler for a few years, had my sister, and then 15 months later had me. When I was ten days old, they moved to Maryland. There in a strange city, far away from her loved ones, with a rambunctious toddler and a newborn, my mother set to the task of making Maryland her home. It wasn’t easy with my father working long hours, but somehow she managed, and my childhood is filled with many happy memories with her.

She went back to work doing night shifts at the hospital when I was still very little and did that for a few years. Then she set her career aside and joined my father at his wood finishing shop, and has been by his side ever since.

When we moved to a farmhouse out in the country, she planted a massive garden and set to canning her own vegetables. She was always industrious and hard working. She would sew and she would cook. When my sister started kindergarten, my mother began volunteering at the school and continued to quite a few years. She became treasurer of the PTA and became very active in the children’s ministry at the church we attended. She is the one that sat me down on the blue couch in our living room and led me to Christ.

When I started high school my parents decided to homeschool us- a decision I dreaded initially, but quickly embraced as it began to unfold. She formed a homeschool group of local kids so that we would have peers to hang out with, organized countless field trips and activities, and taught multiple science classes to our homeschool group.

She was my cheerleader when I applied for NYU and whenI was accepted, she took me up to New York for an admitted student orientation and helped me get my bearings. A few months later she helped me move into my apartment and I cried as she and my father drove away.

When 9/11 happened, she helped to keep me grounded. She did everything in her power to be there for me and when things got tough for me afterwards, she encouraged me. With her, I always felt safe.

When I got married she helped me pick out my gown, and helped me get dressed. And when my first child was born, she was one of the first people to hold her. And as each child was born she has come to stay with me, to help me adjust and heal and help take care of the baby so I could rest. As my children have gotten older, I see the excitement in their eyes as we talk about visiting her and I see the joy on her face when she first spots them when we arrive.

I learned from my mother that motherhood is selfless and beautiful and messy and bold. It isn’t easy. It isn’t always happy. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you cry. Sometimes you smile. And hopefully you laugh a lot too.

So Happy Mothers Day, Mom! To the first person I ever loved. Thank you for all you ever did for me and all you continue to do. Thank you for the hugs and kisses, for letting me crawl into your bed when I didn’t feel good, for washing my hair as I laid on the counter, for teaching me how to drive, for the many ways you expressed your love.  My life is more blessed because you are in it. I hope you enjoyed your special day. We love you so very, very much!

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“Take a picture of us by this tree!”

We are spending the weekend with my parents and I’m delighted we will be here for Mother’s Day. Their local library was having a book sale, so we stocked up on some books for the summertime. I have to be honest, I had to be really purposeful when shopping for kids’ books and make sure that I got ones that Big E would like too. C loves to read so much that I have to make sure that I don’t fall into the trap of only getting what I know she will enjoy the most. So I made sure to mix in some superhero and dinosaur books so we should be good to go!

The rest of the day was spent with shopping, a nice dinner in, and a little birthday party my family threw for me. It was very sweet and thoughtful and I am feeling pretty loved!

“Mommy, mommy… Check out my style!”

Moments like these are perfect. I heard it from the other room… the giggling, the squealing. I walked in to find the two big kids climbing all over daddy. They kept begging him to be a horse, but with Baby E wandering around him, he couldn’t move much. Baby E wanted hugs and cuddles amidst all the roughhousing. I can’t help but smile. I want to freeze moments like this. These are the moments I want them to remember. Not the rushing out the door, not the frustrations over bedtime, not the timeouts over bickering. I want them to remember the silly times they wrestled daddy, or slid down the stairs on their bottoms, or did puppet shows from behind dining room chairs. I hope that’s what I remember too!

Early on in my pregnancy with Baby E I got the urge to walk. And so I did. I walked everywhere. I’d take a walk during my lunch break. I’d walk doing errands on campus. Then in the evening, I would put the kids to bed and then take out on a nice long walk. We were living at the farmhouse at the time and we had a long driveway and across the street there was a huge development that was perfect for my evening walks. I’d even wake up super early on the weekends and go for walks before everyone else got up. This lasted for the majority of my pregnancy until I was firmly in my third trimester and walking started to become a chore.

But now that the nights are getting longer I am starting to get that urge again. So this evening, with the boys in bed, Tim at home and C at church, I snuck out for a much needed walk. It was still light outside, albeit overcast and misty. The streets and sidewalks were unnaturally quiet as I walked along. I started with the gazebo park, but made it down to the boardwalk and back home again for a total of 30 minutes and it felt great! I have a pretty sedentary job, so the exercise and fresh air was a welcome treat! I’m not sure how often I will be able to sneak it in, but I sure hope it can become a new habit!

Baby E is beginning to sport a pretty hefty vocabulary… you know, for an 18 month old. He says:

Mama, Dada, Big E, C, socks, bubbles, Night Night, Bye, Love You, Naona, banana, yummy, and Cheese! (Not the cheese you eat, but the Cheese you shout when you see a camera, of course.)

Since C was our first born, we have countless pictures of her. Because Baby E was born shortly before I started my marathon blogging there are a ton of pictures of him. But since Big E was somewhere in between, I fear he suffers the same fate of so many middle children that have come before him. That’s not to say that there aren’t any pictures of him, but cheese wasn’t firmly entrenched in his early vocabulary like it was with the other two!

I got an email today from someone at MD Day that took some pics of C and sent them to me. Oh, and notice there are no pics of Big E. Sorry kid. 😦