This is me… sad.

C drew this photo this evening when I asked her to draw a picture of how she thought mommy felt when she heard that her kids were making bad choices all day.

We’ve been having some behavior problems with the kids the past few days, and I am wondering if Saturday’s incident has been seeping into their week.

My children have never seen Tim and I like that, and the fear that we felt was likely magnified to them. I know that they are wrestling with some big emotions and big questions, and acting out is a way of expressing them.

So this week I’m trying to listen.

I’m trying to hear the cries behind the behavior. I’m reading the subtext. I’m making educated guesses. Their behavior is a problem, but it isn’t the root issue. So these next few days will likely be rocky. We have to work it all out. We have to show each other grace.

As a family, we went through something big and we are all finding our footing again. We’re processing. We’re healing.

My children thought Baby E might die. The same thought ran through my head. They’ve never been close to death. They’ve never felt its painful blow. And for the first time, the veil was lifted and they were confronted with the idea of it. So they have to process it. They have to reconcile it as best they can. And it is our job to help them with that. So that’s going to take a little bit of time and patience.

But don’t worry, we’ll get there.

C drew this photo of how she stood on Big E’s car seat even though she knew it would bother him and wouldn’t get off when he asked her to. Big E drew a follow up photo of how he chose to bite her because of it.

This is a picture that Big E drew of when he hit someone. This is very out of character for him, (he will hit C and Baby E at times, but I’ve never known him to hit anyone else.)

After each picture they drew I asked them how they felt. I asked them to describe what was happening in the drawing and how each of the people felt. The reaction was what I was hoping for, remorse for hurting other people.

As I cuddled in bed with C this evening, unprompted she apologized for her behavior today. She said she was so sorry for how she acted.

So I think we are making progress. It’s like I said, we’re processing, but we’ll get there.