Today started out rough with a headache that germinated behind my eyes and continued to grow as the morning went on. Tim and I were filling in for the 2’s and 3’s nursery today. By the time we left church the sunlight was hurting my head so badly. I got home, ate some toast and crawled into bed, thankful that Tim was home to corral the savages and lead them to nap time.

When I woke up there was a moment of trepidation. You know that moment, right? That moment after a nap that decides if your headache has subsided or gathered strength. Fortunately today it had subsided. I got dressed, went downstairs and took C out to play with her cousins.

It was strange weather that vacillated between sunshine and rain, and the kids couldn’t decide if their heavy coats or their short sleeves would suffice. They climbed trees, which inherently makes me nervous, but I’m working hard to control my exclamations when I see them doing it. I want them to climb trees. I just really really really don’t want them to fall from them.

Finally Big E woke up from his nap and joined us outside. I have to admit ever since he gave us that really bad scare I’m having a hard time being okay with him running around. He is so clumsy to begin with and I keep thinking he’s going to pass out again. I keep reminding myself that it was probably a fluke, but it’s always there in the back of my mind. That experience was by far my scariest mommy moment, though over the years, we have definitely had a few dicey moments.

My scariest moment with C happened when I was pretty far along in my pregnancy with Big E (She must have been about 17 months old at the time.) I had come home from work and had come upstairs to find Tim and C in the nursery of our old house. I came into the room and flopped down on a rocking chair and Tim and I started talking as C wandered out of the room and into our room. She was at the age where she babbled a lot and talked to herself all the time and suddenly it became quiet. I was so tired, and my ankles were swollen and all I wanted to do was sit quietly in that chair, but I had this nagging feeling I needed to check on her. I called for her and she didn’t answer, so I struggled to my feet and went in search of her. I found her standing in the middle of our room holding a razor like a lollipop with the sharp end in her mouth!!

My heart stopped. There was only a split second to decide what to do, and in that second my mind was filled with images of blood, an ER visit, and stitches. I knew that if I asked for it or tried to take it her grip on it would get tighter, guaranteeing a disaster, so as calmly and with as much happiness I could feign I said, “What do you have there?” She smiled and brought the razor out of her mouth and handed it to me. No blood. No ER visit. No stitches… But a huge burst of adrenaline. I took the razor, left the room and started crying.

So far Baby E has been pretty easy on us. The RSV early on was probably our worst experience with him. It was hard watching him laying there, struggling to breathe, but thankfully he has had no further complications from that.

The savages are all settled into bed now and the temperature outside has dropped. The cold air crept through this evening, slowly at first, and then blasted through with some harsh gusts of wind. It seems winter has returned. My next hope is for snow… on a week day.. .preferably snow showers that begin around midnight and accumulate enough by 5am for things to start getting cancelled. I’d love to have a few extra days to cuddle with my savages with hot cocoa and movies.