What’s on my back?!? I asked Big E as I sat on the floor in my bedroom. I had been reading something on my phone when I suddenly felt something wet touch my back, between my shoulder blades. When I turned to look behind me I saw him standing there with a sheepish smile on his face.

It’s a booger!!! He stated proudly, the smile growing across his face.

Get it off of me!!! I practically shouted at him.

I can’t! It’s really wet! 

It’s bad enough when a kid sneezes on you and you get showered with unintentional boogers, but here was one smeared on my back on purpose!!! Not only that, but it was directly in the middle of the spot on my back I cannot reach myself. There I am, sitting on the floor, smeared boogers down my back, staring down a three year old who clearly thinks this was the most awesome idea he’s ever come up with. I wish I could say that I turned this incident into a teaching moment. That we had a nice long conversation about the pros and cons of depositing your boogers on other people. But that seriously didn’t happen. This was a freak out mommy moment that had me running to the bathroom for a wet towel and ordering him to wipe off my back until I was convinced I was no longer snot streaked. Here’s hoping the meltdown will at least cause him to think twice before using his mother as a human tissue ever again!