90% of ectopic (tubal) pregnancies never develop a heartbeat. As I laid on the sonogram table, I heard ours. As they rolled me into the operating room it was likely still beating. But when they were finished, it was gone. That’s the hardest part. Hearing it and knowing that it wasn’t going to last.

Tim and I had nearly a month to fall in love with our baby, and I did- head over heals, butterflies in my tummy, madly in love with that little one.

It’s been a week. I’ve done a lot of sleeping. I’ve done a lot of sitting. I’ve done a lot of replaying events in my mind. I’m not saying that I’m done mourning, because I’m really not, but it’s time I start moving again. I’m going to take it slow, but it’s time.

Tim and I took the kids to the park today. I watched as they climbed nets, swung on the swings, and went down the slides. They laughed and smiled more than they have all week. And it was good.

I know it’s a process. I know not to push myself too hard or too fast. But I also know I would stay in bed for weeks if I let myself. So here we go. Let’s do this.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Thank you again for your prayers!