12-15-16 That Time I Tried To Take Three Kids To Starbucks…

I ended up staying home again today because C woke up saying her tummy still hurt a  little bit. She hasn’t thrown up since 8pm on Tuesday night and Baby E since 6 am Tuesday morning. But to err on the safe side, I decided to keep her home one more day. We spent yet another day watching tv and napping. This evening I decided we needed a quick trip out of the house. I needed to pick up a Starbucks gift card and decided I’d grab the kids dinner while we were out. I drove through McDonalds and got them each a happy meal. Then we headed over to Starbucks. I informed them that we were all going inside and I expected them to be on their best behavior, or I would be keeping the toys from their happy meals all to myself. They whined for a moment and then agreed to behave.

We walked into the relatively crowded Starbucks…

And it all went downhill from there.

No sooner were we in line then Baby E starts clinging to my leg and screaming “I’m going to throw up!!!” over and over and over again at the top of his lungs!!! Now I know for a fact that he does not need to throw up, but he’s two and just learned a new phrase and can’t wait to try it out on an unsuspecting public.

As I’m trying to quiet him down, I look over and C has her face plastered against Big E’s face. You know, my one kid that hasn’t thrown up this week. He’s screaming, she’s screaming. They are running around in circles… and I’m trying to order my drink. I grab C by the arm and growl in her ear that she better calm down, but they don’t. Meanwhile Baby E is still carrying on, “I’m going to throw up!!!”

I finally pay for my drink and herd my kids onto the closest seats I can find. I then inform them (as discreetly as I can manage) that they will not be getting their happy meal toys after all. To which Big E shouts at the top of his lungs, “Oh yeah!! Well I’m not going to be your kid anymore!!!!!!!”

At this point I actually hear audible snickers coming from the barista and other patrons. An older woman smiles at me and gives me a knowing nod. The barista calls my drink and as she hands it to me she says, “good luck.” I tell the kids it’s time to leave and Big E refuses to get out of his seat, so the older lady walks up to him and says, “Here, let me help you.” This had him scurrying out of his chair as the woman winked at me.

When I finally got them all strapped into the car, I pulled out their toys, unpackaged each one, ooh’d and ahhh’d over them, and talked about how much fun I was going to have playing with them after the kids went to bed. They seemed pretty bummed about it, but I explained (not so calmly I’m afraid) about the horrible scene that had just taken place and the embarrassing situation they created.

As I tucked them into bed this evening, I told them I couldn’t wait to play with the toys, after all they were Ninja Turtle toys, and my kids love the Ninja Turtles.

So here they are, my well earned toys. They’ll be in the trash by morning.

Also, I’m pretty sure we are never leaving the house again…

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Oh and I busted up my finger this evening (different finger, other hand), by scraping it into our front door. It bled for a long time but seems to have stopped. I seriously need a bubble or a stunt double, stat!!!

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