01-10-17 He has pulled me through…

The darkness that has been hanging heavy over me these past few months is starting to lift. I can feel it deep inside me, the ache giving way to something new. In the past I have always fought the mourning process, steeling myself against the pain and vowing to push forward. This time, with the loss of our pregnancy, I chose to feel it. There were moments when the pain was relentless, clawing at my mind and body, assaulting my thoughts with all manner of fears and insecurities. Self destruction would not do, however, so some of that pain I dumped here on a captive audience, while much remained for my family and friends, who bore it with grace and compassion; and even more was shouted at the heavens or offered up in tearful prayers. Thankfully the burden of our loss no longer violates every still moment. Instead, there is peace. There is solace in the quiet. There is gratitude in the silence.

He has pulled me through, as He promised He would. He has pulled me through.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18



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