I can admit that here, right?
Tomorrow I would have been 19 weeks pregnant. But instead of having a routine prenatal appointment, or having my gender-revealing ultrasound, I am finally having the follow up appointment with my own doctor. I am now 86 days post surgery.
I’m hoping to get answers to long dormant questions, and perhaps find clarification on some aspects the surgeon left unclear.
Honestly, I don’t know if this will be the start of a new journey or the end of an old one, and the not knowing makes tonight feel heavy.
Even in my self-induced bubble, it has been hard to avoid the many articles and pictures of so many women around the world marching for the right to stricken their babies from their wombs, as there are those of us that wish with all our might that we could restore our children to our own- the ones whose heartbeats never lead to breath, the unseen ones. They are still very much our children and pain of their loss will always linger.
So if it isn’t too much to ask, may I burden you for a prayer that tomorrow will come softly- and that whatever information I obtain, I may be able to prayerfully and thoughtfully apply it to the benefit of my family. Thank you!
“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21b