The highlight of my time off is definitely spending my days with my sweet savages. 😍😍 We will be staying a few more days with my family before heading back home to our routines. Today was pretty laid back to give the kids a chance to rest. Hopefully everyone feels better in the morning. ☺️

If you were here last winter you know it was rough in the illness department, and I know December and January tend to be our sicker months. Big E has been sporting a runny nose for a few days, but C started last night with a sore throat and runny nose. The throat is fine today, but I can see she’s off. She’s had a headache and a runny nose, but thankfully she fell asleep quickly this evening.

We have decided to visit my family for a couple of days since I don’t have to be back at work until next Tuesday. I’m looking forward to the quiet time with my little family. 😍😍

We celebrated Christmas with my parents and sister this evening. I got a stack of books that I’m itching to go through!! In fact, I’m cutting this short to get a headstart on that!

Today was as close to perfect as you can get this side of heaven. The children woke us up early, and the excitement in their voices outweighed any annoyance at a 6:30 wake up. After breakfast we sat in the living room as Tim read the Christmas story. The children acted out the parts with the nativity scene, which helped to bring the story to life. After that, we let them open their presents. This year they each got three presents from mommy and daddy, and one from each sibling, for a total of 5 gifts each. The big hit for Big E was the box of Bionacles that I had gotten off of Craigslist, and C’s favorite gift was the smart watch we got her. (Unbeknownst to her, the games on the smartwatch actually require a lot of exercise, so she was pretty active today. Baby E was disappointed in his present- I had gotten him a Maui outfit from Moana, but he was upset that I didn’t get him a Moana dress. Go figure. At least he enjoyed having Maui’s hook. I’m pretty sure his favorite gift from the day was the balance bike he got from his grandparents. He is going to enjoy that!

The rest of the day was pretty quiet until the evening when the rest of the family showed up. Then the decibels went through the roof as all the cousins ran around and played. Marrying into a large family makes evenings like these so fun and interesting. There is no lack of conversation or good interaction. We are very blessed with such a huge and loving family.

The only hard part today was when I was struck with the realization that this would have been Hazel’s first Christmas. I found a quiet spot in a dark room to just take a moment and acknowledge that even though I never got to hold her, I still miss her. I always will. But God has brought me a long way in the past year, and while I ache for her, her loss does not consume me. We will meet again.

The highlight of the day came this evening after everyone left and the house once again fell into silence. I was holding C as I sat by the fire. She curled up in my arms, her head tucked under my chin and we sat there as she drifted off to sleep. Eventually we moved to the couch, and finally Tim put her to bed. The kids were happy and exhausted- the results of a wonderful day. 🙂

Baby E keeps calling Naomi, Romeo. Ha ha!

After Baby E woke up this morning he came into our room and crawled into bed next to me. As I cuddled him close, he suddenly sneezed directly onto my face. With my face covered in Baby E spit, he smiles and says, “I blessed you, Mommy!”

In the morning, I know I am going to regret staying up so late, but I just can’t help myself on Christmas Eve. I get enamored with the quiet house and lights on the tree and I find myself lost in a silence I all to often ignore. But in the stillness and the quiet, I am reminded that the beauty of this season is in contrast to the utter brutality that was manifested on the cross. The juxtaposition of the newborn babe with the agony of a crown of thorns and a blood-soaked brow. I am unworthy of such sacrifice. I am unworthy of such love. In the face of my own frailty and weakness, I will gladly cling to my Savior, and honor the day we celebrate his birth. May I always remember that my redemptive king didn’t come in a thunderous appearance, the earth did not tremble with his arrival, but in the stillness and quiet of a night long ago, my savior was born in a manger.

This evening I got to share a candlelight service with my sweet daughter. As I watched the light of the flame flicker across her face, my heart ached for a better world- an easier life to guide her through. But instead, I must trust that her Father above will journey alongside her, and may my daughter (and my sons) long to pursue Him as well.

Growing up, our closest grandparents were a six hour drive away, and while we travelled often to see them, we were never very close. They came from a generation where children were seen and not heard, so it was understood early on we shouldn’t expect a lot of affection from them. I never resented it, it’s just how it was.

Maybe because it was lacking in my early life, I strive very hard to create opportunities for my children to enjoy both sets of grandparents. Even if they see them every day, I try to make sure they understand how special that is. And now that we are living with Tim’s parents we still greet them with the same excitement and joy as when we didn’t see them all that often. The kids make sure to run upstairs each evening and say goodnight before bed and they ask for them from the moment they wake up.

This afternoon we took the grandparents to see the trains and the kids enjoyed showing their grandparents what all the buttons did, they pointed out their favorite trains, and showed them all the best things to see. I loved watching all the interaction. The grandparents did great engaging the kids with questions and pointing out things they hadn’t seen. They all really seemed to enjoy each other! These are the memories I want them to have! 🙂

Today was a strange day that started out pretty wonderful. Since Tim and I were both home today, we decided to surprise the kids at school by meeting them for lunch. This made them very excited as they walked down the hall and saw us. Big E’s lunch was first and we sat with him and his friends. He smiled the entire time and enjoyed pointing out all of his friends to us. When it was C’s turn she was just as happy. She gets a little goofy when she is excited, so it is always kind of fun to see her in that mood. We got huge hugs from both kids before we left. I’m so glad that we had the chance to join them!

Most of the rest of the day was running errands and wrapping presents!

This evening I got some difficult news about a loved one. In respecting their privacy, I will not be posting any further details, but the circumstances have made me very sad. Having Tim here this evening has given me the breathing room to process without having to be in sole control over the children. Needless to say, I’m definitely ready for this day to be over.

My heart sank when I opened the email containing the settlement sheet for the van this afternoon.  Total Loss. I let it sink in for a minute. We paid off the van less than a month ago, and now it’s gone.

The accident Tim was in on Monday wasn’t horrible. The damage didn’t look that bad, but I guess when they opened everything up there was more than we anticipated. $4700 worth of repairs on a 2007 vehicle with 181k miles on it. I’m not surprised they wouldn’t fix it. Sad, but not surprised.

With the van gone, we will have to deal with the annoyance of loading all three kids in the smaller car. Tim is able to borrow a car for a little while, so we won’t be getting a new van for at least a few weeks. Luckily we will have a chance to look around and avoid any impulse buys. I’m particularly thankful that the settlement amount is higher than the money we just spent to pay it off, so it isn’t a complete loss in financial terms.

I fought back some tears today, and I sighed from disappointment, but in the end, things happen. Life throws us curve balls, but if I have learned anything over the past year, it is to not linger on the frustrating or difficult things. So instead of complaining I’m going to brush myself off and keep moving forward. God is good- oh so good, and because of that I’m good too. 🙂

Tim never got on board with my name of “Clifford the Big Red Van.” For him the van was always “The Red Baron.” Clifford or Baron, no one knows, but whichever it was, it will be missed. 

Today I paid $3.50 in a sanity tax.

I remembered going into this evening that we were going to have dinner at our church. They offer Wednesday night dinners, which is wonderful because it saves me the time and hassle of getting the kids home, fed, and back to church before their Wednesday evening activities. We don’t go all of the time because I don’t want to pay for them to go if I know they aren’t going to eat what is being served, but I thought we would be pretty safe with taco salad, at least they could eat chips, right?!?

On the way home I realized that I didn’t have time to stop at the ATM to get cash out for dinner, so I would have to get the money after I picked up the kids. And so began my dilemma. 7-11 offers a free ATM for our bank, so going there is always the best option, but the busyness of the store and the position of the ATM inside make me very hesitant to leave my kids in the car for the two minutes I would be inside. A trip to 7-11 would mean getting my three hangry children out of the car, drag them into a store with food options, and then tell them they couldn’t get anything. Sure, I could buy them something, but then that defeats the entire purpose of going to the free ATM, right? So… I opted for the ‘sanity tax’ and used the ATM that charges $3.50 for a simple withdrawal, but it is a drive through located right across from the church.

So technically I spent $3.50 this evening to not take my cranky, hungry children out into public. That may seem silly, but for me, it was money well spent. And to the patrons of 7-11, you are welcome.

Have you ever paid a sanity tax? I’d love to hear what it was!

It’s been just over a month since we sold our house. Baby E keeps asking to go back and I keep reminding him that we don’t live there anymore. Then he asks if we can go back when the people that are living there now are done. Poor kid, he really misses it. I miss it too, but not as badly as I thought that I would. Tim’s been working a different schedule lately, and I really love not being in a house by myself. On top of that, drop off and pick up of the kids is going much easier than I had anticipated.

In the evenings, I have been making sure to take extra time with the kids at bedtime. We have been spending about a half an hour each night just sitting in their bed reading stories. They are currently obsessed with a book that has a ton of short stories in it, and we have been randomly choosing which stories to do each night. There have even been a few nights when I wasn’t much up to reading, and C offered to do it for me. I can’t believe I have a kid that is old enough to take on story time! It happened so quick!

I let the kids pick out presents for each other this year, so we sat down at the computer and perused Amazon for some ideas. I let Big E do his ‘shopping’ the other day and C did hers tonight. I was amused that they both picked out the same thing for each other- but it actually worked out well because it was a puzzle/trivia/game thing that they had available in both kindergarten and second grade, so they will each get one that is age and skill appropriate. But seriously, what were the chances that would happen?

Well, I’ve rambled a lot and I am super tired, so I guess it is goodnight! 🙂

When Tim called me this morning on my way to work, I was surprised to find out that he was not yet at work. I was even more surprised to learn that he had been in a fender bender halfway there and was in the van on the side of the road. While the damage does not look extensive, he couldn’t drive it because the coolant had all leaked out. It has been towed to an auto body shop and Lord willing, it won’t take long to fix.

Tonight I am so very thankful for the fact that my husband wasn’t hurt. Commuting in our area can be quite hazardous, and his commute is pretty rough, so I am incredibly grateful that he is ok. What a way to start our week!