Her head peaked over the table this morning, staring at the snow globe. I had forgotten to put it away last night and she peered at it as she nibbled at her blueberry waffle.
What is that? She asked as she chewed.
It’s a snow globe. I answered. I let her hold it and turn it upside down. She watched it, smiling as the snow swirled around and began drifting down.
What’s inside it?
Buildings. That one is the Statue of Liberty.
And that one is the Eiffel Tower? She asked, pointing to the globe.
No, that’s the Empire State Building.
What are those other ones?
Those are the World Trade Center. I steadied myself as I answered.
Can I have another waffle? She glanced away, losing interest.
The moment had passed. I breathed a sigh of relief. I guess I’m not quite ready to have that talk with her. They will be discussing it at school tomorrow, a history lesson, a moment of reflection… I’m not really sure. Maybe we’ll talk tomorrow night, after she has had some context. Or perhaps I will leave it for another year. I can’t decide. I don’t need to right now.
When I left the grocery store this evening, the sky was painted vibrant blues, oranges, and pinks as far as I could see. Through blurry eyes I packed my groceries into my car, thankful for such beauty. Sunsets make me sentimental. I grew up near a river, and the front of our home faced due west. From my bedroom window I could see the sunset reflecting off the calm water, casting its hues across the surface. Now I live near a bay, facing east. I don’t see as many sunsets.
It was nearly dark by the time I got home, so I drove to the bay and parked my car. I walked to the pier and found a quiet cubby to watch the waves. They crashed lazily onto the sand, the sound pierced only by people talking on the beach. A breeze played with the hair around my face. I needed that moment of solitude. I let the tears fall.
Fifteen years of walking the line between wanting to forget and needing to remember…
I went home. I engaged with my kids. I tickled them. I loved on them. I nuzzled my nose into their necks. I played with their hair. I snuggled with them. I lingered in their smiles and I smiled back.
For those of you that checked in on me today, thank you.