The Time I Took Them To McDonalds…

On Wednesday evening on the way to church I decided to drop by McDonalds to get the kids some dinner. I’m always a little wary of taking all three children in to public with me, especially around any meal times because we all get a little hangry. So before going in I asked them a series of questions to gauge their mood and possible behavior. Things like, “Who’s going to use their listening ears?”, “Who’s going to run away from Mommy?”, “Who’s going to fuss if they don’t like their toy?” I also threw in a few silly ones like, “Who’s going to lick the floor?” Thankfully the kids responded appropriately to each of the questions even though they giggled through the silly ones. I could tell they were in a good mood, so it was worth a shot. I parked the car and we made our way inside.

I was in the middle of ordering our food when I turned around to make sure I had eyes on the kids. That’s when I noticed it. There in the middle of a crowded McDonalds, Baby E was laying flat on the floor with his tongue out LICKING THE FLOOR. Yes, you read that right… my kid was LICKING THE MCDONALD’S FLOOR!!!!!!! And there were people watching him. In horror I scooped him up and chided him (growled in his ear) that we DO NOT LICK FLOORS! No floors. There is no acceptable floor to lick. And besides, he had just promised in the car that he wouldn’t lick any floors.

Oh wait. Oh dear. That’s when it sunk in that I had given him the idea. With all the silly questions I had asked in the car, this was the one he decided to put into action?!?!?!?

Meanwhile, I was still in the process of ordering my food so I set him down, finished my order and paid. As I waited for the machine to read my credit card I turned around in time to find him BACK ON THE FLOOR… LICKING IT! Again, there were at least a dozen people all standing around watching my kid lick the gross, disgusting, horribly unclean McDonald’s floor. I wanted to gag. I scooped him up again, mentally panicking at the situation and explaining the best I could that we DO NOT do that, all while trying to keep a calm demeanor (because you know, we were in public.) He found it all very amusing, but I just wanted to grab our food and go hide under a rock.

Moral of this story, don’t even jokingly suggest something you don’t want your children to do… EVER.

Frog Legs

As we drove home one evening we got on the topic of strange foods and I asked the kids if they knew that people eat frog legs. Naturally this grossed them out and Big E wanted to know if I had ever eaten any. And while I had the opportunity as a child one time, I didn’t actually partake, but I told him that I heard they tasted like chicken, to which he piped up and replied that wasn’t true. “They taste like lily pads, because that’s what frogs put their stinky feet on.” I didn’t argue, for all I know that’s what they taste like.

Dead Moose

We were walking along the beach this evening when we came across a very strange thing in the sand. It looked like it could have been a plant, but it also could have been a dead animal. It was the size of a cat and it had some things crawling on it. Big E was fascinated by it and leaned down to touch it. I stopped him before he could, but when I asked him what it was he thought it was probably just a dead moose. When I pointed out that we don’t really live in moose country he informed me that maybe this area, (you know, the beach) used to be a farm that had moose. It’s Friday night and I was too tired to argue.