12-05-17 Limbo

I hate limbo- that place where nothing is certain, where circumstances shift daily, and you just don’t know where to settle your feet. It’s not a good place for me to be and yet that’s where I am. Limbo.

Every time I think the next puzzle piece is being put into place, it shifts, moves, or disappears entirely. Honestly, I thought the next step in our journey was solidifying this week- I was excited for something concrete. But it isn’t going to. Not this week, at least. But Lord willing, it will soon.

It felt like a sucker punch today, and I fought back tears as I made the kids some dinner. And while I just wanted a quiet corner to cry in, I have three sweet ones that need their mama to be present, so instead I dried my eyes and crawled into their bed and read them stories until I started to lose my voice.

In the grand scheme of life, my setback isn’t tragic. It might not even be a set back, in a few weeks it might be just an anecdote, but I just don’t know- I can’t see the whole picture. But I truly adore the one that can. God started us on a journey that I know He will bring into fruition in His timing and on His terms, and there is great peace and release in that. It frees me to live in the moment, to acknowledge that I can’t control everything, and it forces me to relinquish my white knuckled grip on what my ‘expectations’ are regarding our future.

So I guess in truth, I’ve always known where to settle my feet- not on the shifting sands of life’s circumstances, but on the immovable pillar of God’s promises.

The discussion about our future plans has been intentionally vague, because I’m not ready to talk about it here until it is all squared away. The next few days will be a major deciding factor of our next step, so prayers would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!

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