The sweat drops stung my eyes as they ran down my face. It was a welcome relief to the tears I cried all day. I went for a run on the elliptical this evening- two miles in 17.5 minutes. I was drenched, my heart was racing, and my legs ached when I stepped off. I needed that, the Lord knows I did.
There are hard days, and then there are curl-up-in-a-ball-and-cry-days. Today was one of the latter. It isn’t my story to tell, so I won’t go into details, but today was difficult and my heart is heavy.
Even so, God is good.
One of the things I have learned in my life is that God’s goodness is not at all related to my experiences. My expectations and my preconceived notions have no effect on His character.
He is… therefore He is good.
His goodness does not need to bend to my whim. I cannot control it. I have no power over it. Instead, His goodness can strengthen me in times of plenty and in times of famine. It can redeem my tears, it can steady my thoughts and it can calm my fears.
I do not need a God that reflects me. I do not want such a thing. I want a God that challenges me, grows me though difficulties, and accompanies me through my heartache. I want the God that watched the agony of His son on the cross, the Father that saw the blood stream down his child’s face, the perfect God that accepted a blameless sacrifice wrapped in my sins so that when He looks on my face He sees no blemish.
We sang a song in church this morning, and it helped me through my day. I hope it speaks to you as well.
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection