I took a walk with my favorites this evening. Well, I walked. C rode her scooter. Big E rode his bike. And Baby E relaxed in the stroller. We made our way to the stinky bridge, and my was it stinky today! The tide was low, but not horribly so. However, the smell was quite overwhelming. Nothing like a marshland in 90+ degree heat and humidity! The kids were good sports about it and when we got to the gazebo park they spent their time riding around on the large paved area. It was nice to get out of the house and stretch our legs. We had spent our morning with the neighbor cousins and then C went to her grandmother’s house to spend time with one of her cousins for the day. The rest of us hung out at home cleaning, watching tv, and napping. We were definitely due for some outdoor time!

5 years.

10 years.

15 years.

Why do these numbers seem more significant than the others?

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

I’ve been restless this week, not sleeping well, consuming more and more coffee to hide my fatigue. I’ve been short tempered, snapping more at the kids and sending them to their room for minor offenses. I’ve been craving quiet, but my children have been anything but. There’s been a simmering under the surface. It hit home this evening when I yelled at my kids to stop talking and get ready for bed.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Tomorrow will be 15 years. Most days I don’t think about it. I can go weeks without it crossing my mind. For obvious reasons, this time of year is always more difficult and this week is always the hardest. I used to not cry about it. I used to bottle it. But years ago I decided to let the tears come. That’s part of working through grief- you have to feel it.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

I put the kids to bed and I wandered downstairs, intent on tackling the dirty dishes, but instead I made my way to the china hutch. I wasn’t even sure if what I was looking for was there. Had I even unpacked it when we moved? But I found it, shoved in a corner behind a large candle. I shook it and the snow scattered and fell back down, just as it always has.

Two moves ago I contemplated tossing it. I even had it in the ‘throw away pile,’ but at the last minute I grabbed it, wrapped it in old newspaper and shoved it into a box. I’m glad I did.

Grief is a hard path, best not to be walked alone. I’m thankful that I have always had a strong support system. Their love and compassion has always pointed me back to Christ.  And though tonight the grief feels fresh, I cling to the promise my Father made to never leave me, nor forsake me, for in Him my tears find respite.

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

I’m not recounting my story tonight, but if you want to read it, you can find it here in a post I wrote last year.

Blessings.

Today was the first day of Big E’s last year at Moms Morning Out. He’s in the four year old class this year, which means kindergarten next year! *sniff*sniff*

I got a great report from his teachers that he listened very well and was well behaved all day. He went out of his way to encourage the other kids on, even cheering for them when they played a game. He said grace at lunchtime and was sweet and serious.

I love this kid’s kind and generous heart! His gentle spirit and beautiful smile brighten each day of my life! Love him so much!

I was ‘coaxing’ the big kids out of bed this morning when I heard a loud thud and their bedroom shook for a brief moment.

I knew what it was the moment it happened.

It’s a day I have been waiting for for six whole years!

In six whole years my children have never attempted to climb out of their crib. Apparently Baby E took it into his head that this would be the day to break the record. Unfortunately he didn’t quite land the dismount and when I ran in to check on him he was laying on his back staring at the ceiling and wailing at the top of his lungs. He had a reddish spot on his leg, so I think that’s where he hit. He just kept screaming ‘bed’ and ‘boo-boo.’

There’s a rocking horse in Baby E’s room. Usually it is in the corner, and the kids don’t notice it, but yesterday they were playing with it and last night it got left next to Baby E’s crib. It would seem that Baby E loves this rocking horse, and I think that might have been the motivation for his daring escape.

Whatever his thinking, we had a nice long talk this evening about getting out of bed. I’m not sure if he understood a word I said to him, but he smiled and said ‘yes’ a lot (even when the answer was supposed to be ‘no.’) I did add a fluffy blanket to the floor, so hopefully if he falls again he will have a little more cushioning. Oh, and the rocking horse has gone on vacation.

I smell ostriches, Big E announced as I was cooking dinner.

Well that’s strange. I’m cooking eggs and sausage. 

Oh! I mean sausages. I smell sausages!!

Also, apparently he found my new boots.

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C’s homework this evening was to create a cover and a back for her writer’s journal at school. I gave her some photos, paper, and stickers and she went to town. I think the final product is pretty cute!

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Today was a big day for one of C’s friends from church. Abby had a major surgery today, so in honor of Abby the kids wore purple.

We are all praying that Abby’s recovery is quick and complication free! We love you, Abby!

Tonight was the Meet and Greet for our church’s Awanas program. It is held on Wednesday nights throughout the school year. Big E is excited to finally get to be a Cubbie this year and C is happy that she will still be a Spark. Big E is too young to participate, but that didn’t stop him from throwing a massive fit when I wouldn’t let him walk off with the play grocery cart. 🙂

We are all looking forward to next week when the programming actually begins and the kids start into their verses and lessons. It’s a great opportunity for our kids to get exposed to the gospel outside of our home and in the presence of so many amazing and dedicated volunteers!

It was a little before seven this morning and Tim and I were standing in our kitchen. Even though we had gotten up to darkness, the sun had long broken through and was dancing between the leaves outside.

Upon hearing shouting I wandered to the sliding glass door that overlooks our small deck. Beyond the deck and in the common area there was a man in a bright orange shirt, the kind you wear if you are working in construction or along highways. I’ve seen him outside before, though I could not tell you his name, or anything about him beyond the fact that he has a small dog, in whose company I always see him. This morning the dog lingered just out of reach as the man attempted to coax him back to his house. The more the man pleaded with the dog, the further away the dog scurried and the angrier the man got. It wasn’t long before the man was shouting obscenities to the heavens and that pitiful little beast took off into the woods. I watched the man as he dove into the tree line after him, the air punctuated with his angry tirade and his bright orange shirt bobbing in and out of sight. He emerged empty handed and defeated, tossed one last insult on his charge and marched toward his house, stopping to rest on some steps. He glanced up and our eyes met for just a moment.

I looked away, embarrassed to have been caught witnessing his outburst, but perhaps eye contact was what was needed, because the shouting came to an abrupt end. I’m not sure if he gave up on the dog, or if the dog got lonely and wandered home but a few minutes later the man was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief that my children missed the colorful display, but I also felt a twinge of sadness for this man I’ve never met and the weight he was so clearly carrying.

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Mommy, farms are not as big as trees. Big E pronounced from the back seat with authority.

Actually, farms are much bigger than trees. 

No, they aren’t. Trees are bigger…

And thus began the long conversation about the size of trees versus the size of farms, a conversation that carried us halfway to the sitters house and left us both confused. In the end, I never could convince Big E that trees were smaller, even as we drove past acres of farm land dotted with trees!

 

Goodbye Summer!

It’s hard to believe that it has come to an end.

We had some pretty amazing moments. Tim went to Canada, we took a wonderful family trip to Ohio. We spent countless hours at our beach. We worked and we played. We survived the scary seizure and hand, foot, and mouth. We’ve witness friends and family go through some pretty heart breaking things, and also some pretty amazing things too.

C’s school is underway and Big E starts his preschool this Friday. I guess summer really is over. And while I am sad to see it go, I am really looking forward to seeing what this school year brings (and may that mean wonderful moments and minimal sick germs! Ha!)

 

We celebrated C’s birthday with her grandparents, aunt, and great aunt and great uncle. She was excited to get some beautiful dresses as well as a veterinarian kit. She spent the evening giving every toy she could find a check up. Such a sweet girl.

Any mom can tell you that she loves it when she sees people loving on her kids, and I am no exception. It melts my heart to see my family shower love on my kids. There’s nothing better!

 

 

The last long weekend of summer is in full swing.

The kids and I made the trek out to visit my parents this weekend and they were delighted that Naona let them play in the sprinkler. C and Big E jumped right in, but Baby E was a bit hesitant at first. It didn’t take him long, though, to join in on the fun! Good job, Baby E.

This is my mama and I love spending time with her. My mom is a really awesome woman and she has taught me so much about life, motherhood, and my walk in my Christian faith. I love her so much!

These kids love visiting their grandparents and have a blast every time we come for a visit! We are looking forward to the rest of the weekend.