10-18-16 Things I’ve Decided Not To Tell My Children

C was eating an apple this evening when she came to a pretty gross little section. It wasn’t big, probably the size of a fingernail, but the section was mushy and dark and for a brief moment I wondered if there was a worm in there. Thankfully I caught myself before saying that out loud because that would have been a sure fire way to guarantee my daughter would never eat apples again. Instead I grabbed a knife and cut out the offending (worm-free) section.

It got me thinking, though, that there is probably quite a list of things I’m not planning on telling my kids at this point. Trust me, life will be easier this way….

1- (As mentioned above) Some apples have worms. I’ve never actually found a worm in a store bought apple, but anything right off a tree and not drowned in pesticides is up for grabs. 

2- Corn on the cob sometimes has worms. I found this out as a small child when we would shuck corn straight from the garden. It was like Russian roulette, but with corncobs and slimy grubs. My children will have to learn this the hard way because for now I *need* them to *want* to shuck corn. 

3- Dogs scare me. I mean, really scare me. At least big dogs do. I really, really don’t want my fear of dogs to be my kids’ fear of dogs. So when I hear the jingle jingle of a dog collar behind me, I have to use all of my willpower to not book it in the opposite direction. ‘Sure, we’d love to pet your dog, kind stranger. Yay, it likes to jump on people. Yippee! Isn’t that dog fun, kids?!?’ 

4- Foods I don’t like. I don’t want my kids’ palette to be influenced by mine. I mean, I know it will be to some extent. For example I will never, ever feed my kids liver and onions (because that’s just gross,) however I do and will feed them things that I’m not particularly fond of, in hopes they won’t be terribly picky eaters. 

5- I’m scared to be home at night without Tim. If Tim works late, I need my kids to feel secure. If there are times that he works overnight, you better believe that I barricade the front door and never fully enter REM state, because I’m the one that has to make sure those kids are safe. But do my kids know that? No, they have no idea. 

6- I don’t particularly enjoy playing house. To their credit, they might have already figured this one out on their own, but I do try to play along when they ask. But I always have to be the  mom, and guess what, I’m the mom in real life so it doesn’t really feel like pretend for me. And even when I get to be the ‘kid’ I still get all the grown up jobs like cooking dinner and changing diapers. 

7- I don’t like hugging them when they are sick. Don’t get me wrong, I do love on them and cuddle them and give them plenty of attention when they are sick, but in the back of my mind I can’t stop thinking we’re all going down. 

I could probably think up more if I wasn’t so tired, so that’s my list for this evening. Are there things that you would add? img_20161018_205600


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