06-20-17 Object Lesson – Lines

This evening we had an object lesson. It was born from the fact that our evening went very, very poorly. It started with some disobedience and spiraled out of control. The kids were all over the place, screaming, instigating each other, and absolutely not paying attention to mommy. This was one of those evenings you want to hide in the closet until everyone goes to bed, but then you remember that you are the adult and you are the one responsible for getting them all to sleep.

So, I corralled the older two and we had a lesson. I placed a rolled up blanket on the floor and called that the line they were not supposed to cross. Then we talked about what different kinds of things that line could represent… picking on your siblings, not coming when you are called, whining, yelling, etc. We talked about the choices that we make and how it is up to us whether we cross the line or not, and the wisdom in staying as far from the line as possible.

They seemed intrigued by the idea, and we acted out a few scenarios where the kids made the choice to cross the line and the choice to avoid it. It seemed to click in their minds as they mimicked the bad behaviors they get in trouble for, and the reaction they got from me when they chose not to do them.

As they were getting ready for bed they kept mentioning the line and saying they were making sure not to cross it.

Like all my parenting exercises, this will probably work for them for a couple of weeks, but I’m hoping that something stuck. ๐Ÿ™‚


06-19-17 Silliness with Goobs

The past few weeks have been very somber and serious. So this evening I grabbed Baby E, sat him on my lap and snapped a few photos in Snapchat. It only took a few minutes, but we both laughed at our pictures and I could tell that he had a good time. ๐Ÿ™‚

So was I productive this evening? Not so much, but that’s ok. There’s always tomorrow! ๐Ÿ™‚



06-18-17 Happy Father’s Day


This is the very first photo of Tim holding C. Such a special moment!

As I type this, my dear husband is out in the parking lot, with a shop vac in hand, cleaning all of the sand out of the van. Our recent trips to the beach have left a layer of sand over everything, and this evening he decided to clean it up. Let me tell you, friends, I married a good man. Our lives aren’t perfect, not even close, but he is a really great father.

Tim was the first one to want to start a family, even when I was still slightly reluctant to the whole idea. When he found out I was pregnant with C, I don’t think I had ever seen him that happy before. From the first moment he held her, he was hooked, and with each child, I have seen him grow as a man and a father. He is right in the trenches of parenthood, without ever complaining. He holds his own with messy diapers and projectile vomiting. The kids know they can count on him to be there and support them, and they never questioned that they are loved. Like I said, he’s a good man… and a great father!

So Happy Father’s Day, Tim! We love you to the moon and back!


A special dance with a special man.

As for my own father, he set the standard high for the type of man I would eventually marry. I have never known anyone with such high integrity and honesty. My father is a man of character, has a wonderful sense of humor, and has always made me feel incredibly safe. He’s my friend and confidante, and I am so grateful to have such a man to call dad.

So thank you, Dad, for everything. For all the sacrifices you made for your family, for the way you provided for us, and worked hard. Thank you for the way you love your grandchildren. We love you so much!


06-17-17 Lazy Saturdays are the best!


Tim worked late last night. I was fast asleep when he got home and unfortunately the kids woke up at 6:30 this morning, despite it being Saturday. Since Tim has been working crazy hours lately, and has barely had any time off, I wanted to make sure that he got a little extra sleep, but what can one do with three small children on a Saturday morning besides plop them in front of the tv?

The beach. I know, I know, it seems like we practically live there, but they open at dawn and close at dusk, and it doesn’t cost us a dime to go, so the kids pulled on their swimsuits, and scurried for the car. They had to open the gate when we got there, and we had the beach to ourselves for the two hours that we stayed. We finally came home when our rumbling tummies couldn’t put breakfast off any longer!

The rest of our day was pretty lazy. We went out for lunch, took a nap, and then went grocery shopping. All in all, a successful Saturday. ๐Ÿ™‚

06-16-17 Ten Years

It was ten years ago today that Tim and I stood on the Brooklyn Bridge in the middle of a torrential downpour. The air had gotten cold and the water had soaked though our clothes. I shivered as I looked at the skyline, waiting to see if my suspicions were correct. As Tim kneeled on the ground, my heart started racing. 

Ten years ago was one of the best days of my life, and I remember nearly every moment of it. Little did we know what we were signing up for, but it has been an incredible journey!!

06-15-17 Distant


Last night, after I got the kids in bed, I wandered downstairs, found some ice cream in the freezer, curled up on the couch and put on a movie. For the first time in a couple of weeks I allowed my mind to turn off and I just existed. These past few weeks have been very chaotic, and my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place. My anxiety has been through the roof, and I have spent most of my time trying to bring it under control. I know this feeling is temporary, I know it’s part of my healing process. And while I anticipated that this week was going to be hard, I was blindsided by the anxiousness that accompanied it.

This evening I decided to ignore the nagging voice in my head that told me to make a quick evening and get the kids into bed early. As I stared at them this afternoon I realized how distant I have been these past few weeks, so I had them change into their bathing suits, and we went to the beach for a little bit more escapism. The kids enjoyed their time there, and the breeze off the bay helped to wipe away some of the cobwebs that have been lingering.

Thank you for all the kinds words and sentiments over the past few days. They are greatly appreciated.


06-13-17 The Hazel Box

If the math was correct, next Tuesday would have been my due date, but since all of my children have been c-sections, and they typically schedule those exactly a week before, today would have been the day.

But instead of celebrating a birthday, I am staring at a box that contains all the earthly evidence that Hazel Marie ever existed.ย The Hazel Box… A pregnancy test, some surgery photos, and the doctor’s report from October 29th.


I never knew you could miss someone so much that you never met. I never knew the hole that loss would leave. But it’s there, and it’s gaping, and the only thing that soothes it is to know that this isn’t the end, that one day we will meet face to face, and the first thing I will say is “I love you.”

The past few weeks have been incredibly difficult, as this day loomed on the horizon, and me unable to slow it’s approach. But it’s come and it hurt. It was made easier by the friends that reached out to me to make sure that I was ok, that checked in on me to remind me that I am loved. Thank you for that.

This evening I was in a car accident on the way home from work. It wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t serious. There wasn’t much damage, but I’m sore, and probably will be for a few days. The van will need some cosmetic work, but I’m praising God that it wasn’t worse. I’m thankful my children weren’t with me when it happened. I’m thankful the people stopped.

And in reality, I am thankful for a great many things. While my mind often wanders to the empty crib now stored in the attic, I have before me three beautiful, wonderful children, whom I love more than life itself. I have an incredible husband who has walked this painful road with me, has held me when I cried, and coaxed me out when I have spent too long in my own thoughts. I am thankful to a patient heavenly Father who has slowly, but steadily, transformed a terrible situation into evidence of His glory and faithfulness in my life. And I’m thankful for Hazel. She changed me. I’m not the same woman that I was when I woke up on October 29th, for better or worse, I’m different. And I’m not sure what that means and I’m not sure who I am becoming, but I’m eager to find out.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (NASB)


06-12-17 Photos

By the end of the day, I usually have anywhere from 5-30 photos on my phone documenting my day. Most of the pictures are of the kids, but sometimes there are things I see during the day that I want to make sure I show Tim. Sometimes I take photos of things to remind me of something I need to do. And sometimes there are random photos that I accidentally take, because I channeled my inner 80 year old self! ย Today I looked and only found one photo on my phone… A blurry picture of a parking spot. (I think)


So in addition to my lovely parking spot photo, I thought I’d add some pics from the beach the other day that I never uploaded. ๐Ÿ™‚


06-11-17 AHG

Tonight was a big evening for C, as she had her end of the year ceremony for her American Heritage Girls Troupe. I am very proud of my sweet girl, who earned multiple badges throughout the year, and made new friends along the way. I am so pleased with her group and I love that she is involved with something that stresses the importance of putting others first. I know she will be eager to start back up again in the fall!