I’m not sure what a smencil is, but it’s caused a lot of grief in my little family over the past two days. When I picked the kids up from the sitter yesterday, C was excited to show me her new smencil. She said she got it from one of the kids on her bus, but as she dug through her backpack to show it to me, she started to freak out. Apparently it wasn’t there. Since I have no idea what a smencil is, there wasn’t much I could do, but shuffle through the same stuff she had already gone through. I told her we would drive slowly out of the driveway, and we circled the cut de sac, but we never did find it. C was very upset and explained that smencils were something you could buy at school that cost a $1 and she was so upset that she had lost hers.

I happened to have $2 in my purse, so this morning I gave C and Big E each a dollar for a smencil. However when I picked the kids up this morning, Big E couldn’t find his new smencil either, and after digging through his backpacks, we only came up with a few handfuls of crushed goldfish crackers.

C never got to show me hers because she wasn’t feeling well I picked her up and she went to bed when we got home. So, I know these things exist, I know in the past 24 hours we have been in possession of 3 of them, but I have no idea what they are.

PS- I just googled them. They are pencils… that smell. (meanwhile my kids kept explaining them to me as ‘long cylinders.’ Ha!)

Pretty sleepy tonight so here’s a cute picture of my little pasta loving Savage. 😍😍😍

I hate limbo- that place where nothing is certain, where circumstances shift daily, and you just don’t know where to settle your feet. It’s not a good place for me to be and yet that’s where I am. Limbo.

Every time I think the next puzzle piece is being put into place, it shifts, moves, or disappears entirely. Honestly, I thought the next step in our journey was solidifying this week- I was excited for something concrete. But it isn’t going to. Not this week, at least. But Lord willing, it will soon.

It felt like a sucker punch today, and I fought back tears as I made the kids some dinner. And while I just wanted a quiet corner to cry in, I have three sweet ones that need their mama to be present, so instead I dried my eyes and crawled into their bed and read them stories until I started to lose my voice.

In the grand scheme of life, my setback isn’t tragic. It might not even be a set back, in a few weeks it might be just an anecdote, but I just don’t know- I can’t see the whole picture. But I truly adore the one that can. God started us on a journey that I know He will bring into fruition in His timing and on His terms, and there is great peace and release in that. It frees me to live in the moment, to acknowledge that I can’t control everything, and it forces me to relinquish my white knuckled grip on what my ‘expectations’ are regarding our future.

So I guess in truth, I’ve always known where to settle my feet- not on the shifting sands of life’s circumstances, but on the immovable pillar of God’s promises.

The discussion about our future plans has been intentionally vague, because I’m not ready to talk about it here until it is all squared away. The next few days will be a major deciding factor of our next step, so prayers would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!

I picked the kids up this evening and they begged to see some Christmas lights so I decided to drive them through our old town to see them. They enjoyed seeing the huge tree on the boardwalk all lit up. I remembered that the local motorcycle shop did a huge train display so on a whim, we stopped to check it out. Last year was the first time we had ever gone and I knew the kids would like seeing it again.

When we stepped in the door the kids got so excited. The couldn’t contain themselves as they hurried between the viewing stations. The train set has buttons and knobs that the kids can use, so they had a blast seeing what each one did.

Thankfully the store provided dum-dums, otherwise I would have had a much harder time getting them out of there. But with the promise of a lollipop, I got them to the car and home for dinner!

This evening was the children’s Christmas program at our church. They kids have been rehearsing for weeks and they were very excited to participate, especially C. I did four videos for the evening and C was thrilled that she got to narrate one of them. Working with the kids the past few weeks to put the videos together was a lot of fun. Each kid brings their own unique energy and personality and it was wonderful getting to spend a little more time with them!

I am incredibly grateful for the team of people that works with our kids to pull together programs like this evening. I know there were many adults that spent countless hours working out all the details, planning rehearsals, and training the children and they are such a blessing. So thank you to each of them that helped and thank you for letting me be a part of that process. It was a lot of fun!

Big E loves his Aunt Julie. Whenever he sees anything with long hair, he lovingly looks at it, strokes the hair. This afternoon he brought this doll to me exclaiming he had found an Aunt Julie doll! I couldn’t help but laugh when he started petting its head. 🙂

I want to give a shout out to my kids today. This morning was C’s rehearsal for the Christmas program at church. The program is tomorrow evening. After it was over, Tim and I stuck around at the church to finish prepping things for the program, and we didn’t get out of there until after 5:30 this evening!! And while they had their fussy moments, the kids did a wonderful job at entertaining themselves and each other. Baby E took two naps, and they ate a whole lot of granola bars, but all in all it was a successful day.

And while Tim took the kids to a Christmas party this evening, I snuck away to spend some time with some wonderful MOPS moms. It was a lovely evening of talking and laughing and eating delicious food. I’m very grateful to have such a wonderful group of women to journey this ‘motherhood road’ with!

Tim and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary today. He took me out to dinner, which was after the kids were in bed, and we quickly decided we have turned into old people that hate going out after bedtime. We went to a nearby sushi place and the food was delicious. I loved spending time with my best man, even if we were in a sleepy stupor most of the evening! Ha!

Prior to going out, the kids and I met up with my sister in law and her family and we went to the kids’ school for a winter event. There were vendors, the book fair, crafts, and a nice train display. The kids were especially excited about the trains. The evening went as well as can be expected for 7 kids seven and under. Thankfully I only have pictures pre-meltdown, so everyone looks like they had a fantastic time!

When I picked the kids up this evening, I needed to drop by a friend’s house so we took the route we normally would have taken to the townhouse. As we drove along pointing out Christmas lights, I noticed we were coming up on something a bit worrisome. About two feet away from the road, behind the guard rail, in a very wooded area, there was a small fire. I’m not sure how it started, but my guess would be a discarded cigarette from a passing vehicle. Thankfully it wasn’t close to any houses, but I noticed that the area that was burning was dried leaves, which meant it would start spreading quickly.

I pulled over as soon as I had the chance and dialed 911. The kids thought it was the coolest thing as I answered the operator’s questions, and turned the car around to get a better look at the fire. When we passed it again, it had started to grow. We pulled into the closest road where we could still see the fire, but we wouldn’t be in the way and we waited for the fire trucks to show up. The kids thought it was awesome when they pulled up and started unwinding their hoses. Within a couple of minutes the fire was out, which was good because it had grown to about 5 times its original size.

The kids asked a gazillion questions about fires, fire trucks, etc and it was fun to let them watch it all unfold. I’m very grateful it wasn’t in a very residential area and that the fire department responded so quickly. The kids couldn’t wait to tell all about their adventure when we got home. 🙂

It’s such a bad picture, but it had gotten so dark out.

Some nights go incredibly smoothly- every one eats all their dinner, they play nicely together, they use their listening. And then there are nights when you get stabbed in the arm with a pencil.

Considering this was Wednesday night, I’ll let you guess which one it was!

Big E has a quirk, well to be honest he has several, but his current obsession is ‘Daddy Shirts.’ He LOVES to wear Tim’s shirts, even though they are obviously way too big on him. In fact, when I try to put him in his own clothes he throws a fit- he wants to wear daddy shirts and no pants. Sometimes I cave (with the shirts, not the no-pants) and tonight was one of those nights.

For awhile I couldn’t figure out what he liked about them, but then I realized that he enjoys watching the way the fabric moves when he runs. As soon as he gets a daddy shirt on he takes off across the room staring at his feet. He is also specific about which daddy shirt he wants to wear, and he definitely has his top three. This evening he learned that if he stood on top of the vent at church, his daddy shirt would fill with air and puff out.

So if you see him wandering around in oversized clothes, don’t judge. It’s a battle I’m not fighting, and while he might look ridiculous, he’s comfortable and it makes him feel closer to daddy, so I consider it a win. 🙂

“I love mashed potatoes now. I didn’t used to like them, but now I do. Mommy, what part of an animal does a potato come from?” Big E asked this morning on the way to his bus stop. I smiled as I explained that potatoes are actually plants, the roots of plants, that grow underground. The kids thought it was disgusting that we would eat something pulled from under the dirt.