Our classroom is in the same disarray it was in when we left Wednesday afternoon to go visit my father in the first hospital he was at. The kids notebooks are piled up against the wall. The table is covered in library books, pencil boxes, and scissors. My laundry has stacked up in uneven piles around our bedroom. I’m pretty sure there is rotting chicken in the fridge. None of that seems important right now.

My dad’s surgery got postponed after the anesthesiologist looked at my father’s EKG and saw an abnormality. He wants a cardiologist to check him out.  After two hours of sitting in the pre-op room they wheeled my dad back to his room to wait some more.

We don’t know when the cardiologist will see him. We don’t know if he will be cleared for surgery. If he is cleared we don’t know when the surgery will happen. If he isn’t cleared we don’t know what our options are.

We don’t know.

And that’s hard.

I’ve spent so much time this past week sitting next to his bedside and holding his hand, telling him jokes, and doing anything in my power to make him smile. His smile brings me joy and his laughter is a healing balm. I treasure these moments.

We live in an incredible age of amazing technology, advanced medical knowledge, and unbelievably skilled doctors, but in the end our hope is not in them. Our hope is in Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith. So once again I come to you and ask you for your prayers- prayers that my father gets cleared for surgery, prayers that we hit no more stumbling blocks, and most importantly that God’s will be done every step of the way. Thank you again, dear friends.

 

I felt my legs get shaky as I made my way to the parking lot this evening. I had offered to give my brother a ride home from the hospital when I felt the surge of adrenaline course through my body. There was nothing to do but wait for it to pass.

We got the results from the bone scan, but it has taken these few days for us to process the information. Unfortunately, the cancer is not isolated as we had hoped. It was found in several other places, so treatment will begin soon. However, for the treatments to begin, my father’s back needs to be stabilized, so tomorrow he is scheduled to go into surgery.

We don’t know what time, and we don’t know exactly what kind of surgery it is going to be. Since it was the weekend, we didn’t get much information, but we should be meeting with a team in the morning.

Please keep him in your prayers tonight and tomorrow. We serve a mighty God. Our hope is in Him.

Thank you, dear friends.

Not much happens during the weekend at a hospital if you aren’t a critical patient. So we wait for answers. We wait for doctors. We wait for a plan. But at least we can wait together. Tim and I are spending the night in the room with my dad. I called dibs on the uncomfortable looking couch and Tim claimed the oversized plastic recliner. It should be an interesting night.

We are all in pretty good spirits, all things considered, and we are definitely enjoying time in each other’s company. I’m grateful my in laws still have the kids so I have the freedom to be here.

Please continue to pray for our family as we navigate this together. ❤️❤️

Thank you all for the prayers. We have heard some results, but we are waiting for meetings with a few specialized doctors. I spent twelve hours at the hospital today and just got home a little while ago. It’s been a rough few days and I’m going to bed.

Again, thank you for the prayers. I was overwhelmed by your encouragement!

 

It was mid morning and I was taking the kids to my in-laws to drop them off for a few days. “Everything looks just a little bit different,” C said as we drove down the hill into the town we used to live in. I thought the same thing, but for entirely different reasons.

While I haven’t said much here, the past week has been very difficult for our family. I’m ready to share some information at this point, because we could desperately use your prayers.

This past weekend my father was diagnosed with cancer.

We’ve run a gambit of emotions since getting the news. Information has been slow to come by. There have been a whirlwind of doctors, tests, and medications and we still have a great many questions. The doctors are trying to formulate a plan that may or may not involve complicated back surgery. He’s had a CT scan and an MRI, but tomorrow they will be doing a bone scan. They need to see if the cancer is widespread or localized so they can finalize their treatment plans based on that information.

Will you please pray that it is localized? 

There are a lot of unknowns in my dad’s case and that makes us nervous, but I am confident there are no unknowns to our Father above. We serve a sovereign God that walks life’s journey beside us when we allow Him to. So while this past week has been a punch in the gut to all of us, we are incredibly grateful for the gift of Christ in our lives, we are grateful for my father, and every moment we get to spend with him.

Again, please pray for positive results from the scan tomorrow, for wisdom for the doctors and peace for our family. Thank you so much, dear friends.

 

 

You know what happens when you hand your three year old your phone and ask him to take a picture of you and your two older kids in front of an awesome horse sculpture?

You get 13 photos of his feet and this gem. Sigh.

I’d like to take this moment and ask for prayers on behalf of someone I love that is going through something incredibly difficult right now. I know we serve a God that knows the details, and even the outcome, and I’m praying for His will in all things.

The kids pranced into the classroom this morning all dressed and ready for school. C showed up in a hippie outfit, Big E was a bumblebee, and Baby E was Moana (shocking, I know!) I’ll admit it was pretty amusing having them sitting at the table like that!

We started week two of school today and it looks like it will be running 3.5-4 hours each day. I’m happy with that amount of time, but I need to start them earlier in the morning.

My lesson planning for each day takes 20-40 minutes so I try to get that done before going to bed. Tomorrow we are going to start school when we wake up and take a break early for breakfast.

One of the things that I am appreciating about homeschooling is the ability to make adjustments and figure out what works for our family. I figure it will take a few weeks to get a rhythm down, but that’s fine by me.

Meanwhile if anyone has any recommendations on how to keep Moana entertained during the school hours let me know! He’s participating where he can, but otherwise he’s looking for snacks or smearing play doh down the walls. Yikes!

After a rough day yesterday, I really wanted today to be a diversion, an opportunity to think, but also a chance to smile. Tim’s sister and family (the neighbor cousins) came over and we took them to our favorite creek! The weather was hot today, but the running water was very cold, which made for a perfect combination. We ate a picnic and waded through the water until we found a perfect spot to relax. My brother in law and the kids worked on building a dam, which created a small, calm pool of water that the littlest ones could play in. The kids played hard and we all had so much fun! Everyone was drenched, especially Tim, as the water he waded through went to his neck at one point!

I really, really enjoyed today. I loved hearing the kids laughing. The cold water racing past us was so refreshing. It really was a perfect afternoon!

The sweat drops stung my eyes as they ran down my face. It was a welcome relief to the tears I cried all day. I went for a run on the elliptical this evening- two miles in 17.5 minutes. I was drenched, my heart was racing, and my legs ached when I stepped off. I needed that, the Lord knows I did.

There are hard days, and then there are curl-up-in-a-ball-and-cry-days. Today was one of the latter. It isn’t my story to tell, so I won’t go into details, but today was difficult and my heart is heavy.

Even so, God is good.

One of the things I have learned in my life is that God’s goodness is not at all related to my experiences. My expectations and my preconceived notions have no effect on His character.

He is… therefore He is good.

His goodness does not need to bend to my whim. I cannot control it. I have no power over it. Instead, His goodness can strengthen me in times of plenty and in times of famine. It can redeem my tears, it can steady my thoughts and it can calm my fears.

I do not need a God that reflects me. I do not want such a thing. I want a God that challenges me, grows me though difficulties, and accompanies me through my heartache. I want the God that watched the agony of His son on the cross, the Father that saw the blood stream down his child’s face, the perfect God that accepted a blameless sacrifice wrapped in my sins so that when He looks on my face He sees no blemish.

We sang a song in church this morning, and it helped me through my day. I hope it speaks to you as well.

How Deep The Father’s Love For Us.

As I opened my eyes this morning I noticed immediately that the room was spinning. I shut them again tightly and willed the room to stop, but as I slowly opened them the room continued to tilt.

3-4 times a year I get hit with a bout of vertigo. I haven’t been able to track down the source, but it’s been awhile since my last episode so I guess I was due for one.

I stumbled into our bathroom where I found a pack of Dramamine. I had read that it could help with vertigo so I took one, had some breakfast, and headed back to sleep. When I woke up at nearly lunchtime the vertigo was gone, replaced with a very hefty Dramamine hangover. I spent the rest of the day trying to shake the tiredness and I’m very happy to be crawling back in bed.

Here’s to tomorrow and the world not tipping!