Tonight at Awana’s it got pretty chaotic and I really started to ask myself why I continue to put myself (and all of us) through this week after week. It was Star Wars night so I braided C’s hair and put it in buns near her ears, and we borrowed a mask from a friend. When we got there, Baby E refused to go to class and Big E refused to go unless I went with him. So I took Baby E and we joined in Big E’s class. Between chasing down Baby E, reassuring Big E that I wasn’t going to leave him, and feeling frustrated with myself for my lack of patience, I wondered what I was doing. The kids were finally settled down and watching a video and listening to the teacher talk about asking God to live in their lives. Big E turns to me and he said, “I want to do that. I want to ask God into my life.”

Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. It was too loud and busy to talk with him more about it until we got home, but as I tucked him in I asked him if he meant what he said. When he responded yes we talked about it for a few minutes, prayed, and then he prayed silently to ask God into his life. 🙂

Closing on our townhouse is scheduled for one month from today. I’m completely blown away at how quickly this process has been happening and I am constantly swinging between excitement and sadness. I’m getting more boxes tomorrow and some intense packing should be starting soon. We got a lot of things out when we cleaned up to put it on the market, but I need to start packing away the closets, cabinets, and attic space. It seems kind of daunting at the moment.

This evening I took the kids, yup you guessed it, to the beach. The weather was cool, but not uncomfortable, and the colder days are soon upon us so we are spending as much time outside as possible. And even though I expressly told the kids they were not allowed near the water, I turned around to find Baby E standing ankle deep in the lapping waves with a goofy grin on his face. The joke was on him though because two minutes later he said he was very cold and we headed home.

Speaking of Baby E, he woke up this morning with his eyelid swollen and purple. It took him a little while to be able to open both eyes equally, but he didn’t complain about it hurting. By this evening the swelling was down considerably and the purple is already starting to fade.

Big E hit Baby E in the face with a frying pan tonight.

Yup. You read that correctly. Smack on the face, the left eye actually. By divine intervention, he missed the actual eyeball, but he landed it squarely on his eyebrow.

Mind you, I wasn’t in the room when this happened, but the story I was able to piece together was that Big E was spinning in the living room with the frying pan in hand and whack got his brother.

I don’t normally let my children spin unattended with heavy kitchen implements, but we had just shortly arrived back to the town house and I had been unloading things from the van and putting groceries away. I guess Big E was helping me by bringing me the pan. Hmm…

Well, we are back in the townhouse for a few weeks while we pack everything up and get ready for closing. I’m looking forward to sleeping in my own bed in my own house for a little while. Not sure how long it will be until we settle down, so I’m trying to absorb this all while I can.

This weekend was packed and it’s late once again, so I’ll leave you with this great photo of our MOPS mom’s night out! I loved spending time with these wonderful ladies! 😍😍

Today was an extremely busy day, but it is late and we are exhausted, so I’ll be back tomorrow. The kids stayed up late with a group of their cousins and we didn’t get home until around 11:30pm. They rarely get to see so many of them at once, and us adults are rarely together, so we decided to bend our rules tonight, but I’m sure we will pay for it dearly in the morning!

Since we haven’t been living in our house for a few weeks I’ve been trying to make our evenings as special as possible. With our schedules, that can be difficult, but that’s why we’ve been hitting the beach and participating in more activities lately. This evening the kids wanted to go to a nearby park and then the beach before heading home. The weather has turned dramatically cooler in the past few days, and our once bustling beach town has turned into a ghost town. There were a few kids at the park, but no one on the beach when we got there. It got dark so quickly, but the kids still enjoyed themselves.

Today was Big E’ first field trip. The kindergarteners all went to a local pumpkin patch. He had so much fun and couldn’t wait to tell me about his pumpkin, and how they almost got lost in the cornmaze. I love seeing him get so excited about things!

The farm he went to is one we have taken the kids to a couple of times over the years, so tonight I tracked down the photos from our previous visits and put them together. Wow, time flies! This is from 2012, 2015, and 2017.

One of the great things about staying with my in-laws is that there are often cousins visiting throughout the week, and this evening was no exception. The kids were excited to find a couple of them here when we got home and the evening devolved quickly into silliness and laughter. The boys played superhero while C worked on her homework, but once she was done, she joined them. Before I knew it she had talked them all into a fashion show. Ha!

I get annoyingly attached to things- be it a stuffed animal from my childhood, a scribbled drawing from my children, or our lovely townhouse. Today we confirmed a contract for our townhouse with an additional one waiting in the wings if this one falls through. In the past two weeks we have had a great number of showings, multiple offers, and a lot of go between. I know it isn’t a done deal until we go to closing, but it is certainly feeling pretty permanent as I sit here. So now the sadness is sinking in.

Three years ago we started a journey to own our own home, one we thought we’d live in for years and years. And we’ve lived a roller coaster of experiences since we’ve been there. Baby E was only a few weeks old when we went to closing on the house, and it’s the only one he remembers. C and Big E both started school from that house. We’ve spent hours at the stinky bridge, the beach, and in the court playing with the neighbors and cousins. We’ve joined in the community and made friends. Most of this blog has been typed within those walls.

It is also the house where we learned about Hazel and its rooms provided protection as we healed from our loss. It’s the place we hunkered down to ride out the many illnesses that struck our family. It’s where I broke my finger, and it’s where Baby E learned to walk. It’s where Tim was the tickle monster that hid in the closets before bedtime. It’s seen a lot of laughter and a great deal of tears.

And guys, deep in my bones I’m going to miss it. I know I’ve been vague about our future on this blog, but honestly our future is vague. We are feeling our way through uncharted territory, but we are also incredibly confident that God is working a plan in our lives, our marriage, and our family. In the months to come, that will come into focus, but until it does we trust and we wait, no matter how far from our comfort zones we wander.

I took the kids to church this evening, and with the last few Wednesday nights fresh in my mind, I decided to change my approach to the evening. I got Big E all dressed and ready with his book, but I told him he did not have to go if he didn’t want to. So we signed in, dropped C off in her class and then we walked Baby E over to his class. I decided that tonight I would stay in the class with him in hopes that will help him get more comfortable with being in there, and one day soon I can just leave him for the hour and a half. So I tried to stay out of the way and just observe, but literally every 60-90 seconds for the first 45 minutes, Baby E would turn to me and say “Don’t leave me, mommy!” I assured him that I was sticking around this evening and he finally seemed to settle into his class and have fun.

As we left, the boy took a tumble down the stairs, and when we got home he fell head first into the bathtub. He came out of it all with a bleeding scratch on his face and arms, but otherwise ok- such a clumsy kid.

I think the boys are having a more difficult time adjusting to our new lifestyle. I know they miss their home and their beds, and they have both been a little more anxious than normal. Add to that the fact that Big E is in school now and Baby E feels left out without his siblings around all day. They are having more separation anxiety than I have ever known them to have, and more outbursts than usual. I know they are dealing with some pretty big emotions right now, and they are feeling out of control, so I am trying to be as understanding with them as possible. We talk often about what’s going on and we work through some of their fears and uncertainties.

If you could lift our family up in prayer that we can face our unknown future with confidence, grace, and courage. We trust a God that has gone before us, for in him there are no uncertainties. Thank you.